Being Thankful at Thanksgiving - why we should all focus on gratitude
With Thanksgiving on the horizon, many of us are beginning to think of all the things we have to be grateful for. While we may include different things on our lists – and our lists may change from year to year – most adults will agree that in 2022 in the United States, we have a lot to be thankful for.
But what about our kids? Are we making an effort to instill in them a sense of gratitude? Kids can have a reputation for being self-centered and selfish, but they can also be some of the kindest, most generous people. And when we teach our children to be thankful, you’ll be amazed at how often they will be the ones to remind us of just how much we have to be grateful for.
Let’s look at 10 things you can do to help instill a sense of gratitude in your child.
1. Start with the basics: Teach your child to say “thank you” whenever someone does something for her. Mom fixes your breakfast? Thank you. Teacher helps you tie your shoe? Thank you. Friend compliments your outfit? Thank you. When your child is old enough, help him write thank you notes. Writing thank you notes in today’s culture may seem outdated, but a handwritten thank you note is always appreciated, whether you’re 5 or 55.
2. Take a moment at breakfast or dinner (or both!): Have everyone in the family state something he or she is thankful for that happened that day. It could be serious: I’m thankful I did well on my test at school. Or it could be silly: I’m thankful I had a funny dream last night!
3. Go on gratitude walks: Have your child look for little things that bring him joy, and have him thank God for those things. Thank you, God, for the fuzzy caterpillar. Thank you for the pretty fall leaves that we can use to make piles to jump and play in!
4. Create a gratitude jar: Once a week, have each family member write down something that happened that week that he or she is grateful for, and put the slip of paper in the jar. On New Year’s Eve, open the jar and read all the notes to reminisce about what a wonderful year you had!
5. Look for awe inspiring moments: Have your daughter thank God for the beautiful sunset, the crashing waves in the ocean, or the great news a friend received. But think outside the box, too! Sometimes finding a pretty rock can be just as awe inspiring for a child as a “bigger” event.
6. Look for the positive: When something disappointing happens to your child, try to help her find a positive in the situation. It rained at your birthday party? The pretty flowers need the rain to grow! If we look hard enough, we can usually find something good in a bad situation and turn our complaints into praises.
7. Think “get to” versus “have to”: When your child has to do something he doesn’t want to, try to help him understand he “gets to” do the activity. You can gently explain to him that not everyone gets the opportunity he has. And “getting to” do something sounds way more exciting than “having to” do the same thing.
8. Teach your child the value of time, thought, and effort: It’s easier for a child to remember to say thank you when someone gives her a present or special treat. But we need to also teach our children to appreciate it when others take time to do something for them or put thought into a gift for them, even if it’s a gift our children don’t “like.” Our kids need to recognize the value of time and effort.
9. Teach your child to help others: When you volunteer to help others, you often see with fresh eyes how much you have to be thankful for. You can volunteer time or resources – in fact fun ways for your child so help others over the holidays include packing a shoebox for children Samaritan’s Purse serves or picking out a toy to donate for organizations like Toys for Tots. While you’re shopping, you can explain to your child that she’s helping to pick out toys for children whose families may need help at Christmas and (if you’re doing a shoebox) for children who may not know who Jesus is.
10. Work through envy: At some point, it’s likely your child will become jealous of what a friend has that he doesn’t. When this happens, help him work through the envy by reminding him not to focus on what his friend has, but instead to focus on all he has. Being grateful for what you have – and learning not to compare what you have to what others have – will serve your child well as he grows into an adult. It will be easier to live within his means and to avoid the trap of trying to “keep up with the Joneses.”
Related: Teach your child to be happy for her friends when good things happen to them. Our children need to understand life is not a competition. We all have different talents and gifts. And sometimes our friends get things or get to do things we don’t. And that’s ok! Because other times we get things or get to do things our friends don’t. Learning to be happy for our friends’ accomplishments not only helps us be better friends but also helps us avoid the jealousy trap.
As you see, there are so many ways to help your kids become appreciative of the big and little gifts in life. But did you know that there are reasons besides politeness and good manners to be grateful? There are actually a number of health benefits we see when we focus on gratitude. Being grateful
· Boosts your immune system
· Increases your overall sense of wellbeing
· Increases optimism, which is good for healthy aging
· Increases opportunity for more and better quality relationships
· Increases psychological health
· Increases empathy
· Improves sleep
· Improves self esteem
· Improves mental strength
· Improves overall feeling of health, resulting in fewer aches and pains
· Decreases risks associated with heart failure
· Decreases aggression
And if you’re not yet inspired to focus on being thankful, consider this: grateful people tend to be happier. They relish good experiences, build strong relationships, deal better with adversity, have more positive emotions, and have improved health. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and discover all you have to thankful for!
If you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy, having a baby alone, or just feeling overwhelmed in your new role as mom, you may be struggling to find gratitude in your situation. One by One is here to help! Our mentors walk with you without judgment to offer support, education, and resources to help you be the best mom you can be so your child will thrive. Interested? Click here to learn more.