Who Am I? Remembering Your True Identity as You Adjust to a New Role as Mom

How do you introduce yourself? Daughter? Sister? Friend? Athlete? Musician? Student? Co-Worker? Girlfriend? Wife? There’s nothing wrong with any of these labels, and most of us are comfortable using many of these identifiers at the same time. But when we add “Mom” to that list, the waters get muddied. We’re excited to become moms… until we try to figure out what it means for us as individuals.

Working mom. Stay-at-home mom. Single mom. These labels somehow seem more intense. If I’m a working mom, how do I make time for my kids? If I’m a stay-at-home mom, will I miss being in an office and spending time with co-workers? If I’m a single mom, how do I figure out how to pull it all together? Especially when children are young, many moms wonder when they’ll have time to shower much less keep up with their “previous” lives. But as women, we often want to be all things to all people all the time. We stress ourselves out trying to have and do it all.

And we forget what really matters – the one label that we should really care about.

As Christian women, we are daughters of God.

Now that’s powerful. And just thinking about being a daughter of God brings a peaceful feeling, doesn’t it? Your worries fade, even if only for a minute, perhaps because that phrase reminds you to consider what’s most important.

As a daughter of God, you’re adopted into God’s family of believers. Loved. Heard. Accepted. Treasured. Important. Strong. Precious. Forgiven. Created for a Purpose. Redeemed. Free of Fear. Beautifully and Wonderfully Made.

This is the label that matters because we matter enough to God that he gave His Son to die for us. So why do we focus on “earthly” labels that shift and disappear over time when we can focus on our identity in Christ?

Focusing on “earthly” identities can be a result of pride. We work hard for our accomplishments in studies, work, hobbies, and even as a spouse, friend, or parent. And that’s good! But when we let those accomplishments define us, we run the risk of doing things to win approval – and, let’s face it, praise – from others. Remember, God looks at our hearts, not our accomplishments. We can’t “win” our way into heaven. He gives his grace freely to all who believe in His Son.

Focusing on “earthly” identities can also breed insecurity. Earthly identities change. A job loss or retirement means you’re no longer a co-worker. Does that thought worry you? An injury or illness could prevent you from participating in activities you enjoy. Do you wonder what you will “be” if you’re not an athlete or musician? A divorce – and you’re no longer a wife.

And Mom. We want to be “good” moms. Does that mean less screen time for our kids? More home-cooked meals? A different way to discipline? More supervision? Less supervision? Insecurity, regardless. Trying to live up to someone else’s standard.

If you lost your earthly identity, would you feel lost?

Center your focus on being a daughter of God, and watch insecurity fade and peace and joy thrive. God is unchanging. He is forever and forever faithful and trustworthy. He knows everything about us – and loves us still!

So when the laundry is piling up, the kids won’t nap, you need to start dinner, you have a deadline at work, and you’re stressing out trying to be all things to everyone, stop for a minute and breathe. Your identity is NOT in your temporary role as employee, cook, cleaner, chauffeur, wife, or even Mom. Your identity IS in Christ. Remember who you are and Whose you are.

Read through these verses when you need a reminder. This is who God says you are. Find your identity in Him. Will you still have hard and stressful days? Absolutely. But you will know that God is there with you and for you. And being His daughter is all you need to be.

You are

·         A New Creation: 2 Corinthians 5:17

·         Accepted: Romans 15:7

·         Adopted by God: Romans 8:15

·         Beautifully and Wonderfully Made: Psalm 139:14

·         Blessed: 2 Corinthians 9:8

·         Child of God: John 1:12

·         Chosen: John 15:16

·         Created for a Purpose: Jeremiah 29:11

·         Forgiven: 1 John 1:9

·         Free of Fear: 2 Timothy 1:7

·         Heard: Psalm 55:16-17

·         Heirs: Galatians 4:7

·         Important: Mathew 10:29-31

·         Loved: 1 John 3:1

·         Member of God’s Household: Ephesians 2:19

·         Not Alone: Matthew 28:20

·         Precious: Isaiah 43:4

·         Protected: Psalm 121:3

·         Redeemed: Galatians 3:13

·         Special: Ephesians 2:10

·         Strong: Isaiah 40:31

·         Treasured: Deuteronomy 14:2

·         Unique: Psalm 139:13

Changing the focus of your identity is not easy, and it requires patience and effort. Sometimes we feel unworthy because of what we’ve done in the past, what people have done to us, and false beliefs telling us we have to earn God’s love. But your identity is a gift from God. If you believe in His Son Jesus Christ, you are His. Pray that God will help you begin to see yourself the way He sees you, and claim that identity. Then strive to live in obedience to Him, and watch your life change.

If you’d like to engage with other moms looking to grow spiritually as they learn to parent well, click here to learn more about One by One Ministries and how you can be a part of our community.